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What To Do Next?

Assignment: On the top of the color chart, in the red zone, you will find your top character strengths that you use both positively and negatively. The goal of this assignment is to learn which qualities on are the top of your red zone. Once you have identified them and read about them in the character profile, you need to have an honest talk with yourself.

First question: "When I have a conflict (with either myself or some other person), which of the character qualities am I misusing?"

Remember this definition!

That "harm, injury, or insult" can occur
to either your own self or to other people.

It is necessary that you correctly identify those traits. Think of the times where you were in a conflict. Not just the conflicts that involve others, but also the conflicts you fight with your own self.

Here are some useful tips:

• Go to the Diagnosis Tool page
• Click on the number that is the highest on the color chart
• That will bring up the category of the one or more qualities from that color.
• Read the list carefully to identify your highest scores
• Click on each of the qualities, both genuine and counterfeit to read about them in the character profile.
• Then, ask yourself the second question below.

Second question:"In what type of circumstances do I use these qualities?"

You must begin to understand what part of your character qualities are getting you into trouble in your interpersonal or professional relationship. You must also begin to understand what type of situations and circumstances you are in when you begin to use these traits. For some people, this may come easy. For other people, this may take weeks of observation, thought and reflection.

Example #1: Dean has a problem when he gets angry. It does not matter who, what, when or where.but every time Dean gets into a situation where he is becoming angry with someone, he tells them off in a brutal fashion. Dean happened to have a score of 90 on the honesty counterfeit known as brutality. Dean also scored very high on how he positively uses honesty in his every day life. Dean is an honest person. The problem is when he gets angry; he misuses that honesty through brutal honesty. People's feelings get hurt, and he makes a spectacle of himself in so doing.

Dean's solution is this: He must stop thinking in terms of honesty when he is angry. There is a time and place for honesty; however, for Dean, when he is angry, that is not the time for honesty! He must supplant the quality of honesty with some other quality. A good one would be any quality that is in the blue zone or the one's closest to the blue zone. Dean, it would seem, only has a capable and appropriate use of honesty when he is calm and rational.

Example #2: Jana also has a problem when she gets angry. When Dean comes home and does or says something to offend her, she reacts in a poor fashion. She begins to act as though she is disinterested in the relationship, yet she very deliberately acts out in a melodramatic way. Drawers and cupboards sound a little louder when she closes them. She paces through the house criticizing every little detail that she thinks is out of place or wrong. Yet, she says that nothing is wrong and that she does not want to talk. Jana scored very high on patience, expressiveness, and neatness. She also scored very high on the corresponding counterfeits of disinterested, melodramatic, and over-meticulousness. When she gets angry with Dean, she misuses all three of those qualities. When Jana acts this way, Dean leaves the house for the evening, and that makes her even angrier.